he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
