I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
