hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I am one with the molecules
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
