my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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