Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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