Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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