I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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