You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
