he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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