Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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