I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If I die, sorry about rent.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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