If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
