Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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