Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He did a backflip because drugs
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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