I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
