what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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