i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
