I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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