Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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