sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
