I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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