2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
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I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
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Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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