i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
