i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Every concussion has its silver lining
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
