gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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