Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
