Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
