What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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