Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
