Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
im holly from the hills drunk
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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