May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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