Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
