Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?

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  (516): sooooo how many boyfriends is too many? http://tfl.nu/inab
  Replies (14) Good night (1721) Bad night (761)
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  (310): View more from California

  do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?

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  (310): do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking? http://tfl.nu/6m2c
  Replies (30) Good night (2156) Bad night (10176)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.

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  (303): i'm in workout clothes. this is progress. http://tfl.nu/dj1r
  Replies (22) Good night (3917) Bad night (970)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  he's 29.

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  (302): you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son. (1-302): he's 29. http://tfl.nu/ab19
  Replies (16) Good night (1625) Bad night (4833)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  ...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.

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  (507): ...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back. http://tfl.nu/m5i6
  Replies (6) Good night (984) Bad night (3241)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...

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  (774): Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face... http://tfl.nu/rmtg
  Replies (13) Good night (2913) Bad night (1307)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  did you find a tooth?

  (254): View more from Texas

  did you lose one?

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  (512): did you find a tooth? (254): did you lose one? http://tfl.nu/1ieh
  Replies (16) Good night (3653) Bad night (1420)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.

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  (630): I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now. http://tfl.nu/zvll
  Replies (7) Good night (797) Bad night (1961)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.

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  (+44): This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night. http://tfl.nu/3g1n
  Replies (5) Good night (1836) Bad night (1017)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.

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  (205): No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s. http://tfl.nu/msmd
  Replies (2) Good night (1389) Bad night (616)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...

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  (713): I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year... http://tfl.nu/git3
  Replies (5) Good night (1388) Bad night (683)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?

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  (778): We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in? http://tfl.nu/nu3d
  Replies (11) Good night (1177) Bad night (2987)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.

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  (603): I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. (1-603): It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay. http://tfl.nu/8z7g
  Replies (8) Good night (1496) Bad night (525)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.

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  (315): Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised. http://tfl.nu/8j6k
  Replies (3) Good night (833) Bad night (395)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone

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  (775): Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone http://tfl.nu/zeql
  Replies (7) Good night (402) Bad night (652)

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