Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.