Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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