is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
