What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
