Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
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I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
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yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
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