We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
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My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
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They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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