the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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