I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
