i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
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Princesses don't give blow jobs
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
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Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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