he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
