He kissed a someone with a penis
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize