And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
