I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Randomize
