best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
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he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
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I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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