Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
