you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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