I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?