Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I just sharted jello shots