Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize