Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
