i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
