i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
