Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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