I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
