I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
