u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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