That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
