long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
